A Thought on Thursday

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain." 

 --Vivian Greene

A Thought on Thursday

"It is the brain, the little gray cells on which one must rely. One must seek the truth within--not without." ~Poirot 

--Agatha Christie

A Thought on Thursday: A Favorite

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched -- they must be felt with the heart." 

~Helen Keller

A Thought from Thursday.....Posted on a Friday

Sometimes life gets busy. Sometimes what you really need is to go to bed early and get the rest that you need. This past week has had a lot of later nights for various reasons. Let me tell you, just because you're up late doesn't mean that the kids will sleep in. So later nights and earlier mornings, with no possibility for a nap, makes for one tired mom. That said, sometimes it's good, maybe even best, to forget everything else and just get the rest that you need. Sleep really is VERY important. :)

On another note, I've been processing through several thoughts after listening to the recent General Women's Session of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There is so much inspiration there! Later posts will likely contain a lot of my thoughts from there, but if you haven't yet listened I encourage you to do so. It can be found here! I love the emphasis of family.

Best Wishes,
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: A Recognition About Myself

Lately I've been enjoying myself. Really trying to figure out what truly makes me happy, and what will make life happier and more deliberate for me. To start out with I thought about all the things that I've loved doing in the past and why I loved doing them. Why am I'm not currently doing them, or not doing them very often, if I loved them so much? We all have a bucket list of some sort too, right? There are many things that I would really like to try.

My list included many types of art forms: sewing, crochet, jewelry, card making, painting, scrapbooking..... I LOVE CREATING! But also included things like being outdoors walking, taking pictures, travel, getting my hands dirty, exploring, being among nature and just taking it in and enjoying it, and especially enjoying it with my family and others
.
 In approaching things this way, I have tried new things, and I have also tried old things in new ways. I've pushed past my thought of "Oh, I couldn't do that," or "there isn't time for that," and have just gone for it! I've let myself make mistakes and have been okay with it. I've discovered that some "mistakes" truly turn out to be quite beautiful! I've let myself enjoy the process as well as the final outcome.

I still have so much left to discover, but thus far I've recognized in myself real joy when I am creating. I've also discovered that I have the tendency to be at opposite extremes when it comes to doing things. In some things (most things) I'm all for hurry and let's just get it done, and yet at other times I over analyze decisions, perhaps to an extreme. I'm learning to embrace this realization, about myself, Not just embrace it, but to also recognize why my response is what it is.

Sometimes I over analyze for fear of making a mistake or letting someone down, perhaps showing that I'm not perfect. If this is the case, my reasoning (conscious or not) behind over analyzing, then it is very healing to allow myself --give my self permission-- to be swift, even if it means making a mistake. It's especially freeing when it's a piece of art that I'm working on. :)

It's not healthy to always be in a hurry either.  I've been more aware of how frequently "hurry up," and "lets just get it done" are in my vocabulary. I've tried to make it a conscious effort to recognize when something truly does need to be done swiftly and when it can take a bit longer. Kids can especially help with this if their natural tendency is to take life a bit more freely, or at a slower pace. Slowing down some to enjoy the process has brought perspective and appreciation in new ways.

Either way, swift or analytical, I give myself permission to recognize what is best for me and for my family, and in doing that I am meeting my goal of a more deliberate life!

Best Regards!
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: Time Management

Today's thought is brief. I share with you a thought I had during a moment of contemplation about organizing what is going on in my life. I always like to look back at my mission statement, especially when things seem to be spiraling out of control. It helps to provide perspective. I leave my thought with you to ponder, and then to act upon appropriately.

"Time management is more than managing time; it's knowing what's most important and acting accordingly." 

Best Wishes
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: An Answer to Prayer

Answers to prayers come in various ways. With things a bit more hectic recently, I needed a few answers. This week an answer came to me while reading my scriptures, through a verse of scripture. It spoke to me so much that I pinned up a portion of it on my vision board so that I can see and think about it daily. So, for my thought today, I share with you this scripture, the answer to many of my prayers.

It can be found in the book of Doctrine and Covenants, Section 78, verse 18. It reads, "And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessing thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."

The part that I pinned up on my vision board reads, "...be of good cheer, for I will lead you along...." It has now daily reminded me to find joy, even in the mundane and difficult parts of the day, and to be of good cheer, having hope and faith in my Savior, knowing that He has, and will continue to lead me along. Choosing to be happy and pray for the ability to do so, truly has made this week a lot better, even though other challenging circumstances have not changed. Want another challenge yourself? This week, seek to find happiness and be of good cheer! Added to showing gratitude, it's an amazing combination!

Cheers!
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: How'd it Go? and Lessons Learned

How did your week go? Were you able to take on last weeks challenge and express more gratitude? I was able to in some ways. I also learned a valuable lesson. Let me share it with you. The last little while has been a little rough for me with the stresses of life, the anniversary of my daughters passing, and other personal things going on. I've tried to be optimistic, deliberate, and even cheerful, but have fallen short here and there--and well, we'll leave it at that. :)

Actually, part of the reason I gave last weeks challenge, was that I was feeling the need to reach outside of myself, to look outside what was happening immediately around me, and seek to serve others. It felt great to do this, but there were times when I was slow to express my gratitude and this is where I learned a valuable lesson.

A friend of mine learned about the anniversary of my daughters passing. She did not know her, but she is very aware of many of the struggles (and joys) that I have with my son, who has the same terminal disorder as his sister. She spent the day writing me a beautiful poem about motherhood, life, my kids, friendship.....and brought this, along with some delicious banana bread that night.

It truly did mean a lot to me. I was grateful. I believe that I said thank you when she came, but also planned to bring her plate back with a note expressing how truly grateful I was. You know, do a little something extra? Then a day passed. I saw the plate as I cleaned up the kitchen numerous times throughout the day, and each time said, I really need to write that note; what she did meant a lot. I saw the plate again, cleaning up one last time before bed, but feeling drained, I went to bed, thinking tomorrow I will write. Well, I didn't. I meant to, but didn't.

A couple days passed and I got a text message from my friend worried that she had offended me or overstepped in some way, expressing the desire to work past it if she had. I quickly responded, No! What she had done for me meant a lot, and that it was me who was slow in expressing my gratitude, and if anyone, it should be me asking for forgiveness.

Lesson learned. I love to make homemade cards and wanted to do this for her, and perhaps fill her plate back up with a delicious treat, but in this case I should have just walked the plate back and once again expressed how much it really meant. Instead I left her wondering. Do you ever do this, want to do something extra special, but are slow in acting? Like I said last week, "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." (William Arthur Ward)......and I was guilty once again." 

I also learned an even greater lesson from my friend. She had very obviously spent a lot of meaningful time in her gift. She could have decided to be upset with me, angry, perhaps bitter. However, this is not her, and instead, she reached out to me once again in compassion and seeking clarification and renewal of our friendship if needed. A true friend.

So I take from this week many lessons learned, added to gratitude for friendship, and the chance to continue to better learn to express my gratitude to others.

Thanks for reading, and best wishes for a wonderful week ahead!

~Jen

A Thought on Thursday:Gratitude

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." 

William Arthur Ward

Have you ever been guilty of this? I have. This is actually one of the reasons that I decided to begin writing a blog, and choosing to live a more deliberate life. Life gets so busy sometimes, but truly shouldn't be so busy that there is not enough time to express our love and gratitude to others. 

During this upcoming week I challenge you to find some way to express more gratitude to at least one person. Perhaps through a letter, a kind deed, or by simply speaking the words to them. Imagine the impact it would have if every individual were to do this for just one person, now imagine two.....three.....now everyone we came into contact with! Go ahead, spread some joy and gratitude for others! I'll be doing the same! :)

Thanks for reading!

~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: Be Kind

There is a phrase that someone once said to me that I have never forgotten, and think of often. This particular day just happened to be the anniversary of my daughters passing. This woman did not know this initially, but we were talking about some crazy events that had happened in the life of some of her friends and family. My emotions were on the surface that day, a bit more than usual, and I got a bit teary eyed. Our conversation went on, and it came out about my daughter. We continued talking, and during the conversation she said to me, "we all walk a little wounded."

That day, that phrase just enveloped me and brought so much clarity and compassion. Perhaps it has to do with the experiences of my daily life; having had one child with disabilities be such a sweet part of our life and then pass so suddenly. I'm missing her sweet laughter and smile so much. Other children have blessed our home, but our youngest also has the same disorder as our sweet baby girl (thegfpd.org). This alone makes life different than it is for most....but that's another long story full of both sorrow and joy.

But isn't that phrase so true? We all walk a little wounded. All of us have at least a little heart ache, a little hurt in our life. Something that we carry with us; sometimes on the surface, sometimes buried deep inside. I try to remember this when I hear harsh words spoken, or see someone quick to anger. These are definitely not qualities we like to see, especially in ourselves, but what does more for someone, my criticism, or my compassion? My goal is to lean first and always to compassion, because truly, every wounded heart needs a bit more kindness.

Just a thought,
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: Write it Down!

There is a lot that goes on in our lives that is worth remembering. A lot that is worth going back to. A lot that if others could know, would likely help them out. Today my thoughts are on writing in a journal. I've kept a journal since I was about eight years old, when I took over the journal that my mom had been writing about me/for me since before I was born (bless her heart). I now have volumes of journals, and I too, try to keep journals for my children, full of memorable moments and special messages I want them to know and to remember.

Now, there have been times in my life when I've written daily, and times when I've written far less than that. Either way, there is just something about living life and recording it. Recording both the good times and the hard times. Writing, for me, is also very therapeutic. I do well to write out how I'm feeling, to honestly reflect upon what is happening and actively make choices about how to proceed in life. Writing during happy times gives me time to pause, record, and reflect on my many blessings. I do have many!

There are so many ways to journal! (Google it if you need more inspiration!) I've utilized your typical hardbound 8 1/2x11ish, lined journal for years because that is what I was once given as a gift. The journal I took over from my mom was a spiral notebook of sorts. I've done some art journaling and enjoy the process of this. When I was younger, I wrote as if I were talking to someone in a letter. These days I enjoy a combination of scrapbooking ( Project Life Style) and writing in a hardback art sketch book with no lines. No lines I find is so much better for me.

Don't know what to write? Google journaling prompts and you'll never run out of ideas! It really doesn't need to be a long, drawn out process either. It's your journal, you can include (or not include) whatever you choose. Write in whatever style you want, draw pictures, brainstorm, make lists, etc. The most important thing is that you are recording a piece of yourself and enjoying the process.

Appreciate Life and Write it Down!
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: Action

Last week I wrote a quick thought on the importance of planning. This week's thought ties right into that; Action. After the plan has been made, the next crucial step is to do what you planned to do, when you planned to do it! If you say you're going to exercise three times a week and you set aside time to do it, then, by all means, when that time comes, be exercising. If you plan to be in bed at nine reading and relaxing, then by all means, make it happen.
There is power and contentment in taking action to fulfill our plans, because once again, our plans revolve around our mission statement and who we really want to be and to become.
Now, sure, there are times when things will come up, when plans will need to be changed, but be honest with yourself; are you making excuses not to act, or did something truly happen that made you make the deliberate choice to change your plans? Only you can honestly answer this for yourself.
So, my friend, this week lets both make deliberate plans with the intent to put them into action!
Best Wishes Towards Success,
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: Have a Plan

More and more I find Benjamin Franklin's words, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail,” to be so very true. I can recognize times in my life when I have spent adequate time planning and times when I have failed to plan at all. My overall pleasure with life is much higher when I have a plan. 

What are we planning? Well, it comes down to what is important to you. A good place to start may be looking back at your mission statement and identifying what has the most value to you. If it has value to you, then plan to make that a priority in your life. For example, I have young children that I want to spend specific individual time with each day. Now, I can just say that I'll fit it in somewhere in my day, but I know from experience that other tasks will inevitably arise, and I will find myself lying down at night (full of guilt) not having spent the individual time with them. Can you relate in some way? 

Another big one for me is meal planning. Now, I don't mind cooking, so long as I know what I'm making. Therefore, I try to have a menu written out. This allows for less confusion when meal times roll around, and also allows me to be sure that I have all the ingredients I'm going to need when it comes time to shop for groceries. A little planning in this way saves both time and money on trips made for an ingredient here and an ingredient there. 

Am I a perfect planner, well no, but I'm working at it every day, and I think that's one big key to a happier and more fulfilled life. The boat gets rocked a little as our family grows, as life brings change, as my goals and priorities evolve. It's simply because change requires, even demands, a re-evaluation of plans. During these times things will likely feel more chaotic than planned at times (ok, maybe even most of the time) trying to fit in new priorities, but systematically it will work out if you keep at it.

And, while I know that life never goes completely as planned, I also know that there are many more opportunities that can be seized when we know what our priorities are, and are at least trying to plan accordingly.

Best Wishes!
~Jen

A Thought on Thursday: Simplicity and Love

Thinking the past while about my goals, I want a word or two that encompass the overall intentions I had when I first forged my goals. I wanted words that encourage mentally reviewing and renewing the goals that I have made. Words that quickly ignite intention and meaning; those words are Simplicity and Love.

I'm not going to go into detail now about what my specific goals are, but I firmly believe that in order to live deliberately, you must have a firm understanding of the difference between a want and a need. When we fill our lives with too much, be it with items in our homes, over-extending our time, or budget, something else is suffering. Thus my word Simplicity. I want the peace that comes from simplifying the items in my home.....everything has a place, contained withing a space......knowing what will be of most value for my time, energy, and resources. Maximizing what is truly needed and meaningful in life.

My second word is Love. There is a lot of perspective that comes into someone's life when you raise a child with special needs, and you watch her pass away......and then that opportunity comes into your life again. If you allow it to, you learn a lot about what it really means to love, but sometimes it gets a little difficult not to be bitter. (Yep, another thought for another Thursday). Not to overlook the great and important role of being a parent to any child. My goal, one of them anyway, is to watch where and how I choose to focus the love that I am giving, especially when I'm feeling just plain worn down and tired.

I, also, want to reach outside myself to show love. A wise woman once said something to me in a conversation we were having that has stuck with me since. No matter who you meet, we all have our individual problems and concerns. "We all walk a little wounded," she said. There is always a kind word that can be said, a service done, a note left. I want to be that person that intentionally blesses the lives of others, that remembers important dates, such as birthdays and various kinds of anniversaries. I'm seeking not just love, but charity. For what hath a man if he hath not charity?

Just a Thought

~Jen

Who Am I: A Mission Statement

The last several months I have done a lot of reflecting; on life, goals, purpose, ambitions, dreams. I have read books, written in journals, created brain storm maps and really tried to pinpoint even more what I want in life; and what I want to bring to life. Essentially what it came down to, is that I really want to live a more deliberate life. From there the name of my blog came to be.

Blogs definitely aren't new, but there is much to blogging that is new to me. Therefore, blogging in and of itself will be a grand adventure! I could just write another journal to record my experiences, but I wanted a way to both record and share with others. This, added to my other ambitions, goals and plans, will also allow for the increased opportunity to be stretched outside of my comfort zones. 

As a brief introduction of myself, I've drafted an ever evolving mission statement, so without further ado, my  mission statement:

 I am a woman of faith, direction, and purpose. I stand for truth at all times, in all things, and in all places. I live and strive for faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, virtue, and charity. I value traditional family values, and the privilege I have to be a wife and mother. I teach my children correct principles daily; including faith, obedience, sacrifice, and charity. I support Andrew (my husband) in his responsibilities. My life is deliberate and meaningful.

Our home is a place the Spirit abides. It is a refuge from the world for all who enter. It is found presentable most of the time and lived in all of the time. Love is always found there.

I am a good neighbor and citizen. I find ways to benefit my fellow men daily. I am involved in local and civic affairs. I live by the belief that every individual has something beneficial to contribute, and seek to help them achieve their full potential. While I am a friend to all, I have the courage and strength to say and do what I know is right, even if I stand alone. I am a teacher and an influence for good upon those with whom I associate.

I seek counsel, direction, and advice from my Heavenly Father and move forward with faith. My testimony of my Savior grows daily. I listen to and follow the counsel of our living Prophet. I willingly pay tithes and offerings. Temple attendance is an important part of my life. I value and honor the Sabbath day. Health is important to me. I plan and prepare healthy meals. I observe the Word of Wisdom, get adequate rest, and exercise regularly.

When mistakes are made, I repent quickly and forgive often. I grow and learn from opposition and adversity, and by doing so, develop great wisdom, understanding, and insight. I seek daily to make life pleasant and beautiful. I appreciate my life.

I value education and put action into growing physically/economically, mentally, socially/emotionally, spiritually, and creatively. I seek out the best mentors and learn from others. I value both time and money and what I can do with each. I budget both time and money according to my values and goals. By doing so, I do good in grand measure.  

Do you have a mission statement? If not, I challenge you to take time to think about what is most important to you and create one! One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves in living a more deliberate life is to know what is most important to us.

Deliberate Living!
~Jen