Lately I've been enjoying myself. Really trying to figure out what truly makes me happy, and what will make life happier and more deliberate for me. To start out with I thought about all the things that I've loved doing in the past and why I loved doing them. Why am I'm not currently doing them, or not doing them very often, if I loved them so much? We all have a bucket list of some sort too, right? There are many things that I would really like to try.
My list included many types of art forms: sewing, crochet, jewelry, card making, painting, scrapbooking..... I LOVE CREATING! But also included things like being outdoors walking, taking pictures, travel, getting my hands dirty, exploring, being among nature and just taking it in and enjoying it, and especially enjoying it with my family and others
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In approaching things this way, I have tried new things, and I have also tried old things in new ways. I've pushed past my thought of "Oh, I couldn't do that," or "there isn't time for that," and have just gone for it! I've let myself make mistakes and have been okay with it. I've discovered that some "mistakes" truly turn out to be quite beautiful! I've let myself enjoy the process as well as the final outcome.
I still have so much left to discover, but thus far I've recognized in myself real joy when I am creating. I've also discovered that I have the tendency to be at opposite extremes when it comes to doing things. In some things (most things) I'm all for hurry and let's just get it done, and yet at other times I over analyze decisions, perhaps to an extreme. I'm learning to embrace this realization, about myself, Not just embrace it, but to also recognize why my response is what it is.
Sometimes I over analyze for fear of making a mistake or letting someone down, perhaps showing that I'm not perfect. If this is the case, my reasoning (conscious or not) behind over analyzing, then it is very healing to allow myself --give my self permission-- to be swift, even if it means making a mistake. It's especially freeing when it's a piece of art that I'm working on. :)
It's not healthy to always be in a hurry either. I've been more aware of how frequently "hurry up," and "lets just get it done" are in my vocabulary. I've tried to make it a conscious effort to recognize when something truly does need to be done swiftly and when it can take a bit longer. Kids can especially help with this if their natural tendency is to take life a bit more freely, or at a slower pace. Slowing down some to enjoy the process has brought perspective and appreciation in new ways.
Either way, swift or analytical, I give myself permission to recognize what is best for me and for my family, and in doing that I am meeting my goal of a more deliberate life!
Best Regards!
~Jen
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